INTRO:
JAKE: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir
AMIR: Big whoop, so am I. Easy money.
JAKE: What?
[Jake and Amir sitting at their desks]
AMIR: Whoa, Jake, I just realized something big. The sky is blue because of.. the scattering like, sunlight fragmi--mints, and then, a prism, and, your human eyes.
JAKE: That was smart. Even though you kinda went off into sentence fragments at the end there and made no coherent point, I think you're smart because you used big words. And then when you finished, you raised your eyebrows at me, which really solidified the point that you knew exactly what you were talking about.
AMIR: Yeah, o- I mean on a sunny day, reighley scattering gives the sky a blue gradient, dark in the zenith and light near the.. horizon!
JAKE: Wow. It sounded a lot like you were reading from Wikipedia, but I know for a fact that you couldn't have been because you were raising your eyes to look at me every few seconds to prove that you were speaking your own original thoughts.
AMIR: Absolowly.
JAKE: You mean absolutely.
AMIR: (stumbling as he makes up a definition) No, uh, I mean absolowly, which is.. Franish for.. absolutely.
JAKE: Oh, ok. At first I thought you misspoke, but the way you spun it around on me, and me realize that I was wrong, makes you look smart, and me look stupider by comparison. (Amir makes a variety of strange faces). Especially because I didn't even know Franish was a language, but I know that it must be, because you said it with such conviction and confidence. Even now as I talk, you're just nodding your head, which makes me realize that you knew you were right all along--
AMIR: (rapping) Yo yo SO, son, I wanna jump around and make ya go.... AAAH! (Amir's aaah noise)
JAKE: That was a tight rap. (Amir continues making strange faces.) Normally raps have to rhyme, but you delivered it in such a way that made you seem like a professional freestyler. You know, even when you seemingly couldn't think of the next word you kind of just went aaah and shook your head, which made me realize that you were purposefully done talking. As a result, I'm your good friend now and I want to hang out more, take you to McDonald's and just generally hang you with you as much as possible.
(Amir pumps his arms up and down with his palms upward.)
JAKE: Now you're raising the roof, which I thought was outdated, but I know that it can't be outdated because you're doing it. I've grown to respect you so much in the last few minutes. I'm realizing you're not getting my sarcasm, even though I'm laying it on very thick.
(Amiir squints and nods.)
JAKE: Now you're squinting and nodding because you know you should be comprehending something, but you're still not.
(Amir smiles.)
JAKE: And now you're smiling because you think that I think that you understand--
AMIR: (childishly impatient and exasperated) Are we gonna go the the Dees or not?!
END.