INTRO
JAKE: You're watching Jake and Amir.
AMIR: At the same time.
JAKE: What?
AMIR: Rager...rager tonight, if you're in.
JAKE: Uh...no, thank you.
AMIR: (holds phone up to his ear) Uh...sorry, uh, I'm on the phone, actually.
JAKE: Oh, alright.
AMIR: That's fine.
JAKE: My bad.
AMIR: (to phone) Yeah, should be fun. Raging party, or whateva. Uh...anybody can come. (to Jake) You can come if you want, comprende.
JAKE: You talking to me? I can't go.
AMIR: I'm- I'm on the phone still. Uh...sorry.
JAKE: My bad. Go ahead. Sorry.
AMIR: (to phone) Uh, no, I'm not really on the phone. I'm not, no, I'm not on the phone at all.
JAKE: I can hear what you're saying.
AMIR: (to the phone) Okay, hold one on second. (to Jake) Can you give me 5 minutes? Can you give me just 5 minutes cuz I'm on the phone!
JAKE: Sorry, you just keep on...never mind.
AMIR: Yeah
JAKE: Sorry, my bad.
AMIR: (to the phone) No, no, no I'm just pretending to be on the phone so that when I invite Jake to stuff, he bas- he basically uh, if he says no, then I can just say oh i'm on the phone or whatever, it's a way to, like, protect my feelings. Does that make sense? Does that make sense to you? Hmm? (to Jake) What?
JAKE: I didn't say any-
AMIR: I'M ON THE PHONE! OKAY? I'M ON THE PHONE! CAN YOU SHUT THE FK UP? CAN YOU JUST SHUT THE FK UP FOR THIRTY SECONDS? I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE! YOU CAN SEE THAT I'M ON THE F**KING PHONE! JUST SHUT UP!
JAKE: I didn't say -
AMIR: Zip it. OK? Zip it. Zip it, good. Ex-zipit A.
JAKE: Will you stop quoting Austin Pow-
AMIR: Oh, who throws a shoe?
(silence)
AMIR: (to the phone) Anyway, Leron, it's me uh, call me back. Groovy baby. Shagadelic. Bye. Sorry for the super-long message. (to Jake) What's up?