Intro:
Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir.
Amir: You're ar rezy erz er erb
Jake: You're not a robot.
It's daytime at a Las Vegas hotel. Jake and Amir are sitting at a desk in a hotel room. Jake has a deck of cards on the table.
Jake: Blackjack is simple.
Amir: Hey, that's a little racist for my taste. Maybe it shouldn't be a Jack, it should be a black, like a gangster.
Jake: Okay, that's actually racist.
Amir: Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.
Jake: Right. The important thing to remember is that Jacks, Queens, and Kings are all worth ten.
Amir: Okay, so how much is a ten worth?
Jake: [hesitates] Ten.
Amir looks upset at Jake.
Jake: It's - okay.
Amir slaps Jake across the face with his right hand.
Amir: When were you going to tell me that?
Jake and Amir are now playing with the cards. The cards are flat on the table so Jake can show Amir how to play.
Jake: You have fifteen with the dealer showing ten. That would mean you want to hit.
Amir raises his right arm and tries to slap Jake again, but this time Jake blocks Amir's hand with his arm and slams it on the table.
Jake: Not me.
Amir looks like he's in pain but moves his hand.
Jake: I'm sorry.
Amir: Nah, don't be. I messed up and you deserve to hit me.
Jake: Okay
Amir: I was kidding!
Jake: Okay, you have a ten and a seven. How much is that worth?
Amir: Thirty-one. Er! Twenty-one.
Jake: No, seventeen.
Amir: No. Yeah, seventeen. I thought you multiply them together or something.
Jake: Would still be wrong.
Amir: [annoyed] Ah!
Jake: What?
Amir: Still be right. Okay, I think I'm ready to go downstairs and play.
Jake: How many cards are dealt?
Amir: Uh, Queen.
Jake: No.
Amir: Okay, just keep teaching me and stop being a dick about it? [flips the top card in the deck over]
Amir is now holding the deck of cards in his hand.
Amir: Alright, maybe we should learn how to count cards. [flips a card] One, [flips another card] two, [flips another card] Aahh! Um, okay, let's go back to basic strategy.
Jake: That's a basic strategy. [Takes deck of cards from Amir]
Amir: Yeah.
Amir has the deck of cards. Jake is looking away from him with his arms on the table. He is exhausted and pissed off. Amir pulls a card from the deck and holds it up to Jake.
Amir: Was this your card?
Jake: They're all my cards. You made me pick every card. [Finally looks at card]
Amir: [Looks at card] Just a yes or no, and then we'll move forward.
Jake: Yes.
Amir picks another card from the deck and shows it to Jake. Cut to Amir holding the deck in his left hand.
Amir: And that's why they call me [hold up half to deck to Jake] the King of clubs.
Jake: That's the seven of diamonds.
Amir: I'm that - yes, I'm that too.
Jake: You're a seven of diamonds?
Cut to Amir jumping up and down on his bed. Jake is looking away again. The deck of cards has been abandoned on the table.
Jake: You know I don't have to teach you anymore if you don't want.
Amir: Okay, okay, just give me just five more minutes! T-bag.
Amir jumps onto Jakes bed while Jake looks at him surprised.
Jake: You know what? Let's play this instead. [Hold up deck] If it's red, say fire. If it's black, say smoke.
Amir: Smoke.
Jake puts that card down to reveal the next card.
Amir: Fire.
Jake shoots the deck at Amir and the cards fly into his face. Amir squeezes his eyes shut, then looks sadly at the disorganized cards. Jake smiles.
Jake: Come on, it's funny.
Amir still looks upset.
Cut to Jake knocking on the bathroom door. He looks full of regret.
Jake: Amir, are you there? I'm really sorry.
Amir: [opens the door from the inside] I'm really sorry! Sorry for ever trusting you! [slams door]
Jake sighs and covers his face with his left hand. Amir opens the door again.
Amir: You still there?
Jake: Yeah, I'm here.
Amir: Okay.