INTRO Jake - You're watching Jake and Amir.
Amir - And if you ever stop watching Jake and Amir, I will find you --
Jake - Relax!
Amir - And kill you.
Jake - No.
(Amir and Jake are sat on a couch in Ricky's office)
AMIR: (chuckles) I am telling you dude, you are a bed hog.
JAKE: And I'm telling you that I don't want you sleeping over at my house anymore.
AMIR: OK, so you just gave me keys to your apartment, for what?
JAKE: I didn't give you keys to my apartment.
AMIR: OK, but you haven't changed your locks yet, for what?
JAKE: Why should I have to change my locks all the time?
AMIR: OK, you know what? I'm not going to come over tonight and we'll see how happy you are.
JAKE: That would awesome. Thank you. Don't--
AMIR: OK, reverse psychology, always works, I'm coming.
RICKY: Guys! I didn't invite you in here to argue.
AMIR and JAKE: Sorry.
AMIR: Bitch.
RICKY: Uh, anyway, have you guys heard of this show, Two Months two Million?
AMIR: Definitely.
JAKE: No.
AMIR: No. Definitely no. Definitely no. Why? (to Jake) Let me finish though, when I - I haven't- I haven't finished yet, definitely not. What's up?
RICKY: It's a show about these four online poker players in Vegas and they have two months to get to two million dollars in earnings.
AMIR: Actually, Ricky, if you think about it, that sounds pretty Ace. (to Jake) What do you think, man?
JAKE: Come on.
RICKY: Yeah, well uh, they're doing a sponsorship of the site and if you want I can fly you guys out there to interview them?
JAKE: That sounds pretty cool.
AMIR: What do you think, man?
JAKE: Umm, I don't know. I'm not sure if Vegas is really for me, it's a little crazy.
AMIR: Yeah, it's a little, agh, too crazy. I think we're going to pass on that, we'll pass on that graph.
JAKE: You know what? It might be fun. I'll go.
AMIR: Yeah, you know what? Sure, we'll go.
JAKE: I thought you were going to pass?
AMIR: No, uh, yeah. I was going to pass and then what you said, you changed my mind and I'm like 'OK, you know what, eff it', you only live twice. So, we're going to go.
JAKE: Go.
AMIR: I'm going to go.
JAKE: Go, man. I'm going to stay here, you go--
AMIR: I'm going stay--
JAKE: --have fun.
AMIR: --I'm going to stay here with you. Why? What are you going to do?
JAKE: I'm going to hold down the fort, you know? You go--
AMIR: y-y-yeah, true. We're going, OK, uh, Ricky, final answer, our final answer is that we're going to hold down the fort and that you can just call us the fort holders from now on. Two fort holders.
JAKE: We are not going to be the fort holders. Tell you what. I'm going to write down my answer on a piece of paper.
AMIR: Sure.
JAKE: You're going to do the same thing. We're going to give it to Ricky.
AMIR: (trying to reach for Jake's paper) Let's write it down.
JAKE: Privately.
AMIR: Oh, OK.
JAKE: And then, we each - we each do our own.
AMIR: Yeah, you know what, Rick, hey, this paper has both of our answers, just right on it. It's like - It's like a bond that ties us.
RICKY: Yup. You guys are both going. Already bought your tickets assuming you would say yes. You leave tonight.
AMIR: Vegas, baby! Vegas, baby! Vegas, baby!
JAKE: Stop quoting Swingers at me.
AMIR: What's swingers at you? It's not a play, is it?
JAKE: No.
THE END.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEyIKpyyBTE