INTRO: Jake - Hi, you're watching Jake and Amir.
Amir - Or are you?
Jake - They are.
Amir - Ah. OK.
JAKE: I get it. It looks like a banana vagina, go back to your desk.
(Amir sits at his desk)
AMIR: Hey, babe.
JAKE: Wow, don't make that a thing you call me.
AMIR: Wow, you're not my MOM! So...dinner tonight?
JAKE: You just yelled at me and now you want to ask me to din--
AMIR: YOU JUST SHUT the f-f-front door...sorry. Dinner tonight?
JAKE: Even if you weren't yelling at me, I have dinner plans already.
AMIR: OK, just tell me which McDonald's we're going to and keep in mind that three of them won't have me back so to speak, and you know that!
JAKE: Not going to McDonald's, all right? I'm going to another restaurant called Nina's.
AMIR: Oh, I've been there. That's that place where they have that thing where if you cuss at your waitresses you get free drinks.
JAKE: No, it's not.
AMIR: Yes it is.
JAKE: So you've done that?
AMIR: Yeah, I mean, it's not like this special deal that they advertise, it's like this special audio coupon that you can cash in. I'm surprised you didn't know that.
JAKE: I'm surprised you think it's a coupon.
AMIR: I mean, it's not like this physical coupon or whatever. It's like the same thing about like when you go to a restaurant and you order something that they don't have on the menu but they'll still give it to you, if you openly weep and you like throw a fit.
JAKE: Like a temper tantrum?
AMIR: Yeah, like a tempa-tension.
JAKE: Not what I said. So, do you do this often?
AMIR: No, you can't do it often! You can only do it once at every restaurant in the city. I mean, do you really not know that?
JAKE: I guess I just feel bad cashing in these types of coupons.
AMIR: Nah, don't feel bad. I mean, these ones are tame compared to the ones my cousin Leron cashes in. (laughs) He cashed in this one coupon --
JAKE (over Amir): Don't keep going with this story, because I don't want to be implicated and I don't want to hear about what you and your weird cousin do in your free time. It really freaks me out! It freaks everybody else out, all right? Dude, just shut up!!
AMIR (getting louder as Jake is talking): once where he took hold of this waitress and he just basically, he pushed her in the back and he shoved her against the table and she's like 'Ah, my god!' (incoherent) and just Jake, I'd do it a lot more, OK...
(Amir continues after Jake stops)
AMIR: I'd do it a lot more, if I wasn't so afraid of smelling, tasting, seeing waitress blood and stuff like that.
JAKE: OK, now I've lost my appetite.
AMIR: Sorry about that, babe.
THE END.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g46_qkAPNNA