Intro-
Sarah: Hey this is Sarah and you're watching jake and Amir.
Amir: Oh my God you are a f**king dumb c*t!
Jake: Wow
Episode-
Amir: Ah, am I ready for summer? Yeah, I think so.
Jake: What are you doing?
Amir: I knew you'd be jealous that I have forty-eight hot summer fashion tips and you have precisely zero.
Jake: Is the first tip dressing like a schizophrenic homosexual?
Amir: No, the first tip is white sunglasses.
Jake: And you memorized them all...
Amir: Yez
Jake: What's tip number forty-two?
Amir: Lace underwear, lightweight, sexy
Jake: And how does it feel?
Amir: Lightweight, sexy, really uncomfortable.
Jake: Tip number eight?
Amir: Nail polish!
Jake: I'm impressed that you know all this, but I wish you wouldn't use the little brain power that you have to memorize girls magazines.
Amir: If they were really girls magazines, would I know fifteen ways to freak HIM out in bed?
Jake: You wanna freak guys out in bed?
Amir: Yah, I like scaring people, and now I can do that, in bed.
Jake: Scaring people like boo?
Amir: No, scaring people like licking their toes. Okay, really freaking them out.
Jake: I think this is the most you have ever not gotten it. And that's saying a lot.
Amir: I don't know why you're being angry Mr. Leo. Today is your diva day. You should act the part at a party.
Jake: I'm just gonna... I'm gonna ignore you, sorry
(Amir is not in his chair)
Jake: Jesus, what are you doing!?
(Amir comes up from under jake's desk)
Amir: Freaking you out, sorry for trying!