INTRO Jake - Hey you're watching Jake and Amir!
Amir - Stop it! Relax! Jake, I'm you.
Jake - Shut up.
AMIR: Hey-uh, can I talk to you for a second?
JAKE: What's up?
AMIR: Um,I just got back from the doctor and he said that I was very sick actually.
JAKE: Really?
AMIR: Yeah, he thinks I may have March (shouting) Madness! Fever! And pneumonia!
Amir slides his bracket across table and into frame.
[Jump cut]
AMIR: Alright the bracket is a lot like the SATs. They penalize for wrong answers. That's why I leave a lot of these blank, okay?
JAKE: What did you get on your SATs?
AMIR: 60.
[Jump cut]
AMIR: I've been crunching the numbers, Jake.
JAKE: How do you do that?
Amir looks at Jake over the top of his glasses.
JAKE: How'd you do that, I said.
AMIR: (Raises voice) Why can't you just say that's impressive?
[Jump cut]
Amir has his head turned and begins doing an impression of the Dramatic Chipmunk.
AMIR: Dun, dun, dun! Dramatic Chipmunk.
JAKE: I know.
[Jump cut]
AMIR: Wow, four number one seeds in the final four. Very risky. (Amir rolls his eyes and chuckles to himself)
JAKE: I mean I could put, I was gunna put Michigan - Fuck you.
[Jump cut]
AMIR: Hey, no matter what happens in this bracket, you and me, we're gunna stay friends for forever, okay? Hey look at me! (Amir gestures his two finger at his eyes.)
JAKE: Don't try to turn this into a serious moment, please.
AMIR: Nothing changes, okay?
JAKE: I know!
[Jump cut]
AMIR: Alright! So the elite 8 I have Scanson, Portland State, blank, blank, Butler, blank.
[Jump cut]
Amir has his head turned and is doing the Dramatic Chipmunk impression again
AMIR: Dun! Dun! Du-
JAKE: (Talking over Amir) Do you have to do that, man?
AMIR: Hanh?
[Jump Cut]
AMIR: Binghamton. Duke. Binghamton is definitely gunna be upset.
JAKE: They're a fifteen seed, so.
AMIR: They're going to be upset that they lost and who wouldn't be?
[Jump cut]
Amir is laying on the table with his hands folded on his chest.
AMIR: (Sighs) Can I tell you somethin', man?
[Jump cut]
AMIR: Ah, is it too late to change my final four?
JAKE: Uh, no.
AMIR: Okay, good. I wanna make it a final six.
JAKE: Oh, it's too late to change the format of the tournament though.
AMIR: Ah sheesh. When was that due?
[Jump cut]
AMIR: (Circling his bracket) Portland state, no it's not. Cleveland state, no it's not. Utah state (looks at Jake) no it's no-
JAKE: That one's a state.
AMIR: Uh, Florida state.
JAKE: Also a state.
AMIR: Sheesh, okay. Oklahoma?
JAKE: Yeah. Ooo two for five, that sucks. You were you started out strong, though.
AMIR: I know. I was lucky. I didn't know. I was just guessing.
JAKE: I know.
[Jump cut]
AMIR: I'm thinking 74-60 blank for the tie-breaker score? (Amir repeatedly clicks his pen)
Jake shakes his head.
[Jump cut]
JAKE: Okay, I'm done.
Jake starts to get up from his chair.
AMIR: (Drawing large circle on his bracket) Wa-wa-wait. Where are we watching the round of 32?
Jake is walking away.
JAKE: We're not.
AMIR: (Calling out to Jake) Okay! I wanna watch my blanks, though! Blanks for the wolf! For the epic wolf.
[Jump cut]
JAKE: Also they have to, I mean they have to play these teams.
AMIR: Sure.
Jake drops his pen. Amir laughs.
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