Intro:
Amir: You guys know that you could be watching porn right now?
Jake: We want them to watch our videos.
Amir: Whatever.
[Starts, Jake in new office. Sat at his desk next to a blonde woman. 'Somewhere In California' written across the screen]
Girl: So, have you met my husband?
Jake: Husband? No i uh..
Girl: [points at picture of Presidant Obama]
Jake: Wow, he is uh, very powerful man.
Girl: He is, dont' mess with me.
Jake: I wouldn't.
Girl: So, did you leave anyone special behind in new york?
Jake: I did nay.
Girl: You did 'nay' is that some kind of east coast sort of-
Jake: The slang sauce creeping in. [is weird voice.]
Girl: I've always wanted to go to new york.
Jake: [same weird voice] It's crazy .. it's crazy in my naizay ..so.
Girl: I'm uh..i'm really glad you're here. [reaches across desk] The guy before you was a total weirdo.
Jake: Really? Don't get me started on office weirdos. I used to work with this guy called Amir, and he only ever ate chicken nuggets.
Girl: that's not so bad.
Jake: He didn't know math.
Girl: like basic math?
Jake: Yeah, 1+1 didn't know it.
Girl: Yeah, that's pretty bad.
Jake: Holidays, didn't know then. words..
Girl: Words?
Jake: He thought 'lamb' was the singular of sheep.
Girl: Jesus.
Jake: one time he called me because he'd forgotten how to fall asleep.
Girl: That guy sounds like a real idiot.
Jake: Yeah..
Girl: How do people that retarded even function in the real world let alone get a real job?
Jake: Well..he's not retarded..
Girl: no, he sounds like a needy idiot, i'm serious.
Jake: [getting more defensive] He's not!
[awkward silence as Jake gives the girl a pissed look before turning back to his work. Girl picks up toy]
[in squeeky mocking voice] Girl: Jacob [normal voice] hey lets get out of here.
Jake: It's only noon..
[another awkward silence]
Girl: sorry
[Jake picks up the toy]
Jake talking through the doll: Lets do something later.
Girl: Okay, yeah.
Jake: Cool.
Girl: [takes toy of jake] don't touch that.
[later Jake on the phone]
Jake: [high pitched voice] Sup? Sup? Amir? Sup? Sup?
~end~