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BBYO IC Welcome Video

Episode ID: 189

Air date: 2009-02-12

Video: Link

Scribe: u/seeegma

[Jake and Amir are sitting at a table, using a laptop.]

JAKE: Alright, ready?

AMIR: Yeeyuuhh.

JAKE: So we're gonna make a video for the- Joel and Gabby from BBYO. (to the camera, waving) Hi BBYO people!

AMIR: (rapping) I figure we, do five minutes of freestyle, and make it off top of my dome, and I--

JAKE: I don't think they want-- I don't think- they don't-- You know what? Actually.. (to the camera) Fre- We're gonna have five minutes of freestyling right now. (to Amir) Go ahead.

AMIR: No..

JAKE: Go ahead!

AMIR: Well, when you put me on the spot, it's like--

JAKE: I'll give him a beat.

AMIR: Ok.

(Jake starts beatboxing.)

AMIR: (rapping) Yo. Your beat is crummy and I can't rap to it, (Jake stops) it sucks so, it's over, yo. (stops rapping) So. I don't know.

JAKE: That wasn't a rap.

AMIR: Well.. Yeah, you can't give me-- you- you gave me no tools, and you were expecting me to build--

JAKE: Let's just-- Let's go through the email, and we'll figure out what we're gonna talk about, okay?

AMIR: Okay, fine.

AMIR: Oh, you guys are having your International Convention, and the theme is The Future Is Now!

JAKE: The future is now! Seize the day!

AMIR: Yeah..--

JAKE: Don't--

AMIR: If the future's now, then what's tomorrow?

AMIR: New theme--is it too late to bring it up?

JAKE: Yes.

AMIR: Ok.

JAKE: Much too late actually. But--

AMIR: The- History Is Now! That way, it's a little more believable because--

JAKE: Then what it- Then what's in the past, if history is now?

AMIR: Ok, the future. You do a three p- and then the fut- and then the present, is- yeah. You just rotate all three. I dunno. Use it if you want, or if you don't, whateva. Just like--

JAKE: No one- No one wants to use it.

AMIR: Ok.

JAKE: (to the camera) So you guys are here to learn about standing up, and making a change that you believe in. So--

AMIR: Alright, this is why that doesn't make sense.

JAKE: Oh, God. That--

AMIR: Let's say it's just- you're just one person. Can you do anything..

JAKE: Yes! That's th--

AMIR: --No. Okay. What?

JAKE: You can't-- You're gonna tell seven hundred and fifty ambitious young teenagers that they can't make a difference?

AMIR: Not alone; you have to be able to get.. at least ten thousand people to do it with you, right?

JAKE: It's--

AMIR: How do you..---

JAKE: You know, there's a Chinese proverb that says the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

AMIR: What if you're in a car? All of a sudden, you're not making many steps, right? (JAKE: You step in) You have to always- So we're telling you, out-think the Chinese proverbs, because, (JAKE: That's.. vaguely racist, and I don't think we should--) yes, they're smart, but, we can be better than that. And it takes.. just one person, to make it--

JAKE: You heard it from Amir: we can be better than the Chinese. Is that what you want to say?--

AMIR: What? That's- When you say it like that it's mean, and that's not what I meant. We can be just as good as they are.

JAKE: We are- Everybody's equal! That's..--

AMIR: Not at math!

(Amir waves at the camera.)

JAKE: Alright, everybody, have a really fun and enriching weekend.--

AMIR: And don't just use this weekend to hook up with other people (JAKE: That's f--); you're to young to kiss, anyway.

JAKE: They're n-- How old were you when you kissed a girl?

AMIR: What?

JAKE: Freshman, in c- high school.. (AMIR: Freshman..--) Freshman to seniors, that's fine.

AMIR: Fresh- What? I was--

JAKE: It's-- They can kiss each other.

AMIR: Nah. I mean I was twenty-five, and I knew that that was--

JAKE: You're twenty-five now.

AMIR: Yes. W--

JAKE: So that happened recently.

AMIR: It hasn't happened yet.

JAKE: So you haven't kissed a girl.

AMIR: I'm waiting for the right time. NOT the right girl; I'll kiss anybody--

(Jake breaks, then Amir breaks.)

END.

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