INTRO AMIR - Hey morons, you're watching Jake Amir.
JAKE - Don't insult them.
AMIR - Sorry, morons
(Amir is sitting at is desk with a girl sitting next to him)
AMIR: Wow
JAKE: Yeah
AMIR: I got a girlfriend and she's amazing. It's just like, wow, it's just like this thing I guess, I don't know.
JAKE: Well, you two actually do look really happy together.
AMIR: That's probably because we are.
JAKE: Well, that's good for you.
AMIR: So
JAKE: Yeah
AMIR: Oh, don't take a photo of us and Photoshop a heart around us and send an email to the company with that photoshopped heart picture with the subject Love Birds.
JAKE: Each of those steps is something I wouldn't do...let alone together.
GIRLFRIEND: 15 more minutes.
JAKE: Huh?
AMIR: Nothing.
JAKE: 15 more?
AMIR: Nothing
JAKE: How long have you guys been going out, by the way?
GIRLFRIEND AMIR: 6 years.
JAKE: So you rehearsed this, that's good.
AMIR: Ah thank you.
JAKE: Ah not a compliment.
AMIR: (in funny voice) Ah yes it was.
JAKE: Where'd you meet?
GIRLFRIEND AMIR: The mall.
JAKE: Where'd you go on your first date?
GIRLFRIEND AMIR: McDonalds
JAKE: How much is he paying you?
GIRLFRIEND AMIR: 300 dollars.
JAKE: Got you.
AMIR: Ha! If you really got us and we weren't in love, would she really know the answer to that last question? No, and you know why, because...
JAKE: She left.
AMIR: Gorshdamnit
(HUH!)
AMIR: Yo yo, QQ bro can i borrow 3 hundo tomorrow cuz i'm in a low -
JAKE: Yo bro no go i'm a duhny -
AMIR: Ha ha don't say no, because i'm in a lot of trouble...yo.