INTRO:
Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and-
Amir: Hey, wait, wait, wait, I'm putting on a mask.
Jake: They can't see you!
Amir: OK, that's what the mask is for.
Jake is sitting at his desk on his computer. Amir crawls on the floor from behind him. Jake does not see him. Amir shoots up from the floor.
Amir: BOO!
Jake: Oh my god!
Amir laughs.
Jake: What is wrong with you?
Amir: What? I was just scaring you. It's a joke.
Jake: [panting] yeah.
Amir: You were legit scared!
Jake: No, um, I'm just freaked out about the hand, you know?
Amir: [confused] What hand?
Jake: You didn't hear about this?
Amir: No.
Jake: There's a crazed axe murderer...
Amir: [worried] No.
Jake: Yeah, I'm serious...
Amir: Yeah right.
Jake: ...He's in an insane asylum and he chopped off his own hand... [pretends to chop his left hand with his right arm]
Amir: [mildly alarmed] Okaaaay stop!
Jake: ...And its missing. They don't know where it is.
Amir: OK, I don't want to think about that.
Jake: Well you don't have to think about it. It's - I mean it's pointless anyway because it's far away [sticks arm inside his blue polo shirt] it's never going to-
Jake pushes his hand out the top of his polo. Because his arm is inside the shirt, it appears as though the hand is by itself.
Jake: [fake frightened] OH NO!
Amir sees the hand and begins screaming hysterically. He grabs the hand and shakes while he continues screaming. While Jake is yelling, Amir begins to cry.
Jake: [fake frightened] Oh my god! It's headed for us! [grabs his own neck with the hand] Ahhh! [pretends to choke] It's killing me! It's killing me! It's murdering me! It's killing me! [moves hand around his head] I can't kill it! Ah my go- [notices Amir is crying now] ohhh, aw fu...
Jake decides to end the prank. He takes his arm out of his shirt and tries to calm Amir down. Amir is still crying.
Jake: Hey, hey, hey, hey, [shows Amir his arm] it was my hand. It was my... [Jake lets out a pity laugh (this could have been a blooper), then sighs and pulls on his polo] No, no! Look! [Shows Amir the inside of his shirt] Hey! Look at my shirt! There's nothing inside my shirt, right?
Amir has his hands to his face. He is no longer crying, but he is still whimpering. Jake shows his arms to Amir.
Jake: And - and there's no hand. There's no hand. It was my hand all along.
Amir grabs onto Jake and starts hitting him with his right hand. Jake embraces Amir and pats him on his left shoulder.
Amir: [still scared] I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate-
Jake: You're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine, you're fine. Come on, you okay? You're fine. [Jake looks up] He's fine!
Cut to 8 co-workers staring confused and awkwardly at Jake and Amir.
Jake: [waving them off] He's fine, He's fine.
Cut back to Jake and Amir, who are hugging each other less tightly.
Jake: He's a big boy. Smile like a big boy!
Amir smiles widely with his teeth clenched. His eyes are squeezed shut. Jake rocks him gently.
Jake: [Smiling and patting Amir on the back] Smile like a big boy! Huh? You wanna get ice cream?
Amir: [still crying, shakes his head] No.
Jake: No, K, [pats Amir on the shoulder] you're fine, you're gonna be okay. [looks up at the co-workers] He's fine. [waves off co-workers again]
Amir: Boo! [laughs]
Jake: Eh, hahaha! [puts his hands up as if he were surrendering]