[Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks. Amir is using his cell phone.]
AMIR: Uhhh, just texting... texting texting texting.
(Jake ignores him.)
AMIR: Jake. Texting.
JAKE: Yup.
AMIR: Texting. Is this thing on?
JAKE: Cool.
AMIR: I'm texting.
JAKE: Got it.
AMIR: Using T9.. (silly inarticulate voice) the terminator.
JAKE: What?
AMIR: Sorry if my texting is bothering you..
JAKE: Your TALKING is bothering me.
AMIR: Sorry, then I'll just sit here and text, I shall tiaxt. (high-pitched voice) TIAXT WITH MY DIA--
JAKE: Don't!
AMIR: Okay. I'm texting my Twitter-, though. I'm texting my Twitter account--
JAKE: You got a Twitter?
AMIR: Don't act so shocked, you ****************** (three seconds of bleep).
JAKE: That was unnecessarily mean.
AMIR: Sorrow.
JAKE: Do you even know what a Twitter is?
AMIR: (rapping) Let me explain, in a way, you understand, it's a place that--
JAKE: I'll understand words.
AMIR: Alright it's an online place that you keep your secrets.
JAKE: How's that?
AMIR: Basically you like text a website, and it privately stores your information online, like in a lock,, like an online lock box,, like a lock box,, like a loc- Jake remember Alfred Gore?
JAKE: Albert Gore. And I think Twitter's actually--
AMIR: Actually what?
JAKE: ...Actually a great way to keep your secrets. Good call, good call.
AMIR: Would you say it's the best call ever?
JAKE: No..
AMIR: Well would you say that it's the best call ever right now?
JAKE: What's your Twitter's name?
AMIR: Doy-hickey! jakeandamir.
JAKE: Right, you use that for everything.
AMIR: For sure.
JAKE: Not.. saying it's a good thing.
AMIR: But you're saying that it's a thing.
JAKE: ...I guess. I don't,, what does it matter if it's a th- yeah it's a- obviously--
AMIR: Just shut your fat lips and tell me how to spell wenis!
END.
OUTRO:
JAKE: w
AMIR: Slow DOWN!
END.