EPISODE
Amir - Jake.
Jake - No.
Amir - So let's say that a-
Jake - NO.
Amir - SO LETS SAY-
Jake - Nonononono
Amir - So let's say
Jake - No.
Amir - that aliens came down to earth and said that "We'll allow you to transport from one place to another easier, but, every year at random, we'll kill 50, 000 of you." Would you do it?
Jake - Would I do- No.
Amir - And yet that's what gangs are. So how does that?
Jake - You mean cars.
Amir - Huh.
Jake - The story is, that's what cars are.
Amir- (laughs) Yeah, cars kill people. You know, I think a car tried to mug me yesterday.
Jake - Never mind.
Amir - (laughs) Oh my god Jake, watch out car!
Jake - People say that so...
Amir - (says to everyone) Guys, Jake thinks that cars rob people.
Jake - Ok, so how do gangs make it easier to get from one place to another?
Amir - What?
Jake - Remember, that was part of the whole alien thing.
Amir - First of all, aliens don't exist because A, I thought they did once and I was convinced they were going to kill me so B, my dad put me into a mental hospital for three months and C they convinced me that in fact, aliens don't exist while D-
Jake - You were in a mental hospital?
Amir - Every hospital is a mental hospital, so you were probably in one too.
Jake - But yeah, but you were, you were in a legit insane asylum.
Amir - Yeah for treee months. (holds up 3 fingers).
Jake - Wow, I don't like learning things that make me sad.
Amir - Ok... Sign my facebook wall for a second because I want to see if it works.
Jake - It works.
Amir - Well, sign it again.
Jake - I never signed it before.
Amir - Sign it twice then.
Jake - I'm not going to sign it once.
Amir - Because you're going to sign it twice.
Jake - No, because I'm working.
Amir - Because you're working on signing it twice.
Jake - No, I'm working on-
Amir - Wait, hold on a second (answers phone). Hello? Oh my god Jake, I think a car tried to rape my mom. (laughs)
Jake - You're an idiot.
Amir - Hold on, she was actually in a car accident so one second.
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