[Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks, Amir stares at Jake's computer]
AMIR: Whoa! I just realized that if I stare at the back of your computer for three hours, it looks like two elephants masturbating.
[Sarah rolls in on her chair]
SARAH: Hey Jake, are you busy?
AMIR: Yes
JAKE: No, actually
SARAH: I found this really cool friendship quiz, I thought we could take it
AMIR: Oh, that's super cool, why don't i save you ten minutes and let you know that Jake and I are BBFs, so it doesn't even matter if you take that quiz
JAKE: Why don't you shut up for 10 minutes and i can tell you that Sarah and I have been best friends since we were little, and she's gonna know everything, alright, ready?
SARAH: Yes
JAKE: What is my favourite movie?
AMIR: Shawshank redemption
JAKE: Okay, you're ruining it for Sarah, right?
SARAH: But i knew that
JAKE: Of course, it's easy
SARAH: Yeah
JAKE: What's my favourite food?
AMIR: annie's macaroni and cheese, Jake, annie's macaroni and cheese
JAKE: It's annie's macaroni and cheese, good job, interrupting
SARAH: I mean, I was gonna say straight cheese
AMIR: Well, you we're gonna be straight wrong! So
JAKE: Str-Straight close
AMIR: Straight close, but not straight cigar (mumbles), Jake
JAKE: Here's one, and Amir's gonna shut up, what's my moms job?
SARAH: Oh, I know this, she's a teacher
JAKE: Exactly
AMIR: Incorrect, she was a teacher, but two weeks ago she arrived at school completely stoned, so they fired her
SARAH: Jesus!
JAKE: ffFUCK, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!
AMIR: She called me?
JAKE: She called you?
AMIR: Well, she called you but I picked up, you know, my voice sounds a lot like yours when I go like this - Hey mom, tell me more about dad
SARAH: God, that's so creepy, oh listen, don't freak out, just because he knows everything about you, doesn't matter, it has to go both ways
AMIR: Jake know's everything on that list about me, don't you Jake? don't you Jake? don't you Jake?
JAKE: IM THINKING!
[goes into flashbacks]
JAKE: What is my favourite movie?
AMIR: Jake, can you? Tell them what it is
JAKE: It's freddy got fingered
AMIR: Thank you
JAKE: What's my favourite food?
AMIR: Got a chicken nugget in my pocket GAAH
JAKE: What's my mom's job?
AMIR: She's a registered nurse, registered nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse
[goes into the present again, with a close-up of Jake's face]
JAKE: Oh my god, we are BFFs!
THE END