[Non-POV. Jake, Pat, and Amir are at a table. This episode begins at the end of the previous one.]
JAKE: Okay, here's what happened:
[POV: Jake. Jake is doing push-ups on the floor. He looks up at Rosie as he does them.]
JAKE: How many is that?
ROSIE: That's at least a thousand. I've never seen anything like this, Jake!
JAKE: What do my tri's look like?
ROSIE: They're ginormous, man!
[They hear loud, disruptive clamor at the door.]
JAKE: Aw, dammit! Amir's here.
ROSIE: Ugh. Awful.
[Jake opens the door. Amir is there, wearing only shorts.]
JAKE: What.
AMIR: 'Sup!
[Amir slaps him, and laughs.]
JAKE: Aah. God, I hate that.
AMIR: Hey, guys!
[Amir attempts to kick off his flip-flops. They fly in weird directions.]
JAKE: Okay. Make yourself at home, right?
AMIR: [singing] It's my dick in a box!
JAKE: Stop.
[Amir waves his arms in a way not at all suggesting a box.]
AMIR: It's my dick in a box, baby!
[Amir gets really close to Jake as he sings. Jake pushes him away by the face.]
JAKE: Stop it!
AMIR: ...Sorry.
JAKE: You know, me and Rosie were trying to hang out by ourselves, okay? Can't you let us be alone for five seconds? You know how much I dislike you?
ROSIE: It's true.
[Amir turns to look at a DVD sitting beside him.]
AMIR: Whoa! What the hell is this? It's like a book... but it's... super-light. Who's Knocke Dup?
[Amir opens it.]
JAKE: It's a DVD, alright? I borrowed it from Patrick Cassels, and he was gracious enough to let me borrow it. Don't mess it up.
AMIR: I'm going to break it.
JAKE: Why?
AMIR: Because I'm a retard. That's why.
[Non-POV. Present.]
AMIR: That is not what I said!
JAKE: Okay, it's my story, right? So let me tell it: and he was doing the high voice and everything. He was like, [in Amir's high-pitched voice] I'm gonna break your DVD! I'm going to break your DVD.
PAT: Jake, I don't care about that. Just tell me what happened to my DVD.
JAKE: Cassels, I'm getting there.
[POV: Jake. Past.]
JAKE: I'm asking you politely: please calm down.
AMIR: Okay, after I break it, I wanna have a sleepover with you, and we can discuss-- all night-- how much we hate Pat.
JAKE: Don't even ask that, okay? You know the answer.
[Amir begins bending the DVD.]
AMIR: Jake. Look how bendy it is.
JAKE: Jesus Christ...
AMIR: I'm so stupid!
[Non-POV. Present.]
JAKE: And then he just broke it in half.
AMIR: [sigh] Did that redheaded homo put you up to this?
PAT: Don't bring Rosie into this. He's too dumb to defend himself.
JAKE: Y'know, Rosie was there! Why don't we ask him?
PAT: Fine. Rosie, what happened?
[Pan to show that Rosie has been at the table as well, the whole time.]
ROSIE: Well...
to be continued...