[POV: Amir. Amir knocks on the apartment door to the rhythm of Shave And a Haircut. Jake opens the door.]
JAKE: [finishing the rhythm] Dun dun!
[Amir slaps Jake. Jake doesn't mind.]
JAKE: Haha! [to Rosie] Amir's here!
ROSIE: Awesome!
JAKE: Love that! Make yourself at home, comprende!
AMIR: Okay.
[Amir kicks his flip-flops off.]
AMIR: Hey guys, check this out: [singing] It's my dick in a box!
[Amir holds his hands to suggest holding a box. Jake and Rosie laugh uproariously.]
AMIR: [singing] It's my dick in a box, baby!
JAKE: [laughing] Stop-- stop it!
AMIR: Saw-ree!
JAKE: Me and Rosie were actually just talking about you, and I realized how much I hate him.
ROSIE: It's true!
[Amir and Jake high-five each other. Then Amir turns to look at a DVD sitting beside him.]
AMIR: Whoa! Is that Knocked Up on DVD? Seth Rogen! I love him! Everybody knows that. How much did this cost?
[Amir puts out his pinky and does a Dr. Evil impression.]
AMIR: One million dollars.
[Jake and Rosie burst out laughing again.]
JAKE: Nah, I actually borrowed it from that zero, Patrick Cassels!
ROSIE: He's an even bigger loser than me!
AMIR: You mind if I burn this?
JAKE: I'll take you out and buy your own copy, right now.
AMIR: Oh, gosh. You don't have to do that!
JAKE: I will!
AMIR: Oh, by the way: after I'm done here, sleepover tonight?
JAKE: Don't even ask, man. You know the answer!
[Amir laughs. He opens the DVD and puts it into a laptop to watch it.]
AMIR: Whoa! This is going in so smoothly--
[Non-POV. Jake, Pat, and Amir are at a table. Amir is recalling the events seen.]
AMIR: --smoothly, it was, like, really smooth peanut butter. It was j-- you won't even believe how smooth it was, it was so sm-- yeah, so smoothly, it went in.
PAT: Yeah? Smooth, right. Really smooth. Yeah, I don't-- I don't believe it, because it's clearly broken, Amir.
AMIR: Okay, so it skips a little when you put it in. I mean... just go to the next scene! What's the Biggie fries? Right, Jake?
JAKE: Cassels, d'you wanna know what really happ--
AMIR: Aaaaaah. So...
JAKE: What's your plan?
AMIR: What?
JAKE: You're just-- you're gonna do that every single time I try to talk--
AMIR: Aaaaaaaaaah.
JAKE: --for the rest of my life? Okay. You're not gonna be next to me forever.
AMIR: Why not?
JAKE: [sigh] Okay, here's what happened:
to be continued...