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IQ Test

Episode ID: 14

Air date: 2007-06-21

Video: Link

Scribe: u/Kozmi

(Jake and Amir sitting at their desks, across from each other.)

JAKE (on his phone): Uh, yeah, July 1st. I'll be home.

AMIR: (stretching his arms, trying to seem casual): 180... 180. (serious) Get off the phone, man. We're at work.

JAKE (still on the phone, visibly disturbed): Uhm...

AMIR: We're not supposed to use the phone at work.

JAKE: (still on the phone): Alright, can I, do you think I can just call you back grandma?. Alright. Love you. Bye.

AMIR: What's the best you can get on an IQ test?

JAKE: 200?

AMIR: 180 is pretty good though, right? Highly gifted it says...

JAKE: What're you talking about?

AMIR: I took an online IQ test, I got a 180. Pretty...

JAKE: Did you deduct 50 points?

AMIR (confused): Uhm, no, why?

JAKE: For being dumb enough to take an online IQ test?

AMIR: Psht, no. It didn't say that. It didn't say to.

JAKE: How many questions were there?

AMIR: 10. So hard.

JAKE: Alright, ask me one.

AMIR (reading from laptop): 'If you turn a right glove inside out, would it fit on your left hand?'

JAKE: Yeah.

AMIR: Wrong.

JAKE: No, that's right.

AMIR: Ok yeah, that's the one I got wrong. So 9 out of 10. That's... still pretty sick...

JAKE (interrupting): Let me see'em.

AMIR: I mean, look... (turning the laptop towards Jake) They're so... You wouldn't be able to get any of these...

JAKE: There's only 7 questions there.

AMIR: Yeah, first 3 were on a banner ad. So...

JAKE: Sounds like a scam.

AMIR: We'll see what the scam is when I get my diploma.

JAKE: So you have to pay for that diploma, right?

AMIR: 49 bucks, but it comes in a sick frame.

JAKE: Right, that sounds like that's the scam. You're paying for something that doesn't mean anything.

AMIR: Psh, it doesn't mean anything... I'd like to see... I'd, I'd onestly like to see how you do.

JAKE: Ok, fine. Send me the link.

AMIR: Only people who get 180 or more even get the opportunity to buy the diploma, so I don't see why I shouldn't.

JAKE (checking out the test): Wow, this is really easy.

AMIR: It's not... Seems easy, but it's not...

JAKE: This is REALLY easy. You only got a 180?

(Amir goes under the desk)

JAKE: What the hell?

(Amir comes back up)

JAKE: You turned off my monitor?

AMIR: Figure it out. If you're so smart... You think you can get a better than a 180, you could figure who turned off your monitor.

JAKE: I did figure it out and it was you, you turned off my monitor.

AMIR: Not saying it was, not saying it wasn't.

JAKE: Can you just plug it in? I have to do, I have to do work.

AMIR: Let's make a deal.

(Jake goes under desk)

AMIR: If I plu-

JAKE (interrupting Amir): Already plugged it back in.

AMIR: Huh?

JAKE: I already plugged it back in. It's fine. (short pause, Jake gets his phone out of his pocket) Just got a text message. From you. '180'.

AMIR: I dunno. Was it me?

JAKE: Yeah, it was. It says... it says who texted you.

AMIR: Yeah, I mean, sometimes it says 'Restricted'.

JAKE: Yeah, sometimes, if you press the right buttons it says 'Restricted'.

AMIR: Maybe.

JAKE: Not maybe. It just does.

AMIR: (pause) ...So smart.

End

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