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Hallie Part I

Episode ID: 132

Air date: 2008-07-22

Video: Link

Scribe: u/FrancisDSOwen

JJKAE: He says copy-edit this these aren't even fucking words...

AMIR: Oh my god do you want to see something insane-o that I just realized? Today is July twenty-second right? Which is seven twenty-two, and it's seven twenty-two, and I'm twenty-two, and you're twenty-two over seven years old and I live on seventh avenue two-twenty-seventh-

Cut.

AMIR: Can I ask you a personal question?

JAKE: What answer could I possibly say?

AMIR: I think I have a crush on someone in the office.

JAKE: Okay...

AMIR: yelling Shut up lowering voice right? She might hear you-

Cut.

AMIR: I just want to know if you have any tips to you know... French kiss her.

JAKE: Do you even know what that means?

AMIR: French kiss: short for friendship kiss, which is what the eskimos do all the time. to Jake's shoulder Bonjour!

JAKE: recoiling Well I don't have any tips for you.

Cut.

AMIR: I know what you're trying to do. You're worried that if I have a girlfriend, then I won't hang out with you all the time, right?

JAKE: Okay, here's what you do: you're going to go out there, confidently, compliment her, ask her out, just don't be you.

AMIR: You think Hallie will like that?

JAKE: It's Hallie?

AMIR: Yeah.

JAKE: Ah... I don't know. Um, forget it. I don't think you should ask her out. I thought you- I thought you were talking about somebody else.

Cut.

JAKE: She's not right for you. Hallie's crazy. She takes drugs.

AMIR: Are you ser- Oh okay, I get it.

Cut.

Jake: You do?

AMIR: Yeah, and I like it. You're trying to be like, okay, be a little distant, right? Coy, and she'll come and like she'll sort of come after you, right?

Cut.

AMIR: That's actually a good move, because I don't think she'll be able to ignore my Casa Nova skills-o.

JAKE: Yeah... actually, you know what? I think you should go for it. Just go ask her out, be yourself.

AMIR: Wish me luck.

JAKE: Good luck.

AMIR: yelling Not good luck! Just luck, right? You're going to jinx it.

JAKE: Sorry.

Patrick enters.

PATRICK: Jake, you're going to let Amir talk to your girlfriend like that?

JAKE: She's not my girlfriend anymore.

Cut to Hallie's desk.

AMIR: Hallie! Hi! laughs

HALLIE: Hi amir.

AMIR: How are you doing? Can I ask you a question?

Cut to Patrick and Jake.

PATRICK: That seven twenty-two thing was weird though. Right?

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