AMIR: Alright Jake, ultimate soul mate test RIGHT NOW. Think of a number 1 through ten. Is this it?
JAKE: No, my number wasn't a Q.
AMIR: Is this it?
JAKE: I don't know, that one's facing you.
AMIR: Same card, right?
JAKE: Same answer, right?
AMIR: I don't know, I mean. Listen, there's like fifty-two in here, you wanna just breeze by them three at a time?
JAKE: I'd rather... I... Just answer your phone, how 'bout... that's... infuriating.
AMIR: It's probably my gay-ass mom. Jake.
JAKE: Answer it.
AMIR: What? She says hi.
JAKE: Hey.
AMIR: Not to you. She says "Who are you talking to?"
JAKE: Well, then just talk.
AMIR: Not to you, right?
JAKE: OK.
AMIR: I know it's dad's birthday. Argh, I already called him. Like, I don't know, last year, what does it matter when? (drops phone) Oh, shh... hello? Yes. OK. Fine! Don't you wanna see how's Jake doing? "Who is Jake"? Who are you.
JAKE: What was that?
AMIR: I don't know, it's like every fucking year around this time she's like "Call your dad, it's his birthday, this might be his last birthday" and it's like "don't you have a job?"
JAKE: Does she?
AMIR: Yes, she's a registered nurse. And my dad is like this toolbox-extraordinaire, it pains me to call him.
JAKE: What does that even mean?
AMIR: Alright, perfect example. Last day of college, right? He comes to pick me up in a U-haul. Right of the bat, that's fucking nutso. But this guy honks the horn to get my attention. I freaked. I mean, tell me you understand.
JAKE: If that's, I mean, if that's a classic example, I would say--
AMIR: He's a paediatrician, which sounds like "Ooh, cool, you're a doctor". But, yeah, a doctor for kids.
JAKE: That's really... that's a really noble profession.
AMIR: I know, it's so noble, it's like—
JAKE: You don't know, 'cause noble's a good thing.
AMIR: I know that now. Jake, do you ever wonder how on your first day you chose to sit at that desk instead of that one?
JAKE: Yeah, I think about it--
AMIR: Is this your number?