Amir (while pretending to drink): What was the movie you were talking about... (He upturns his empty cup and acts shocked)
Jake. Jake jajajake!
Jake: What?! Yeah, an empty cup, okay.
Amir: Well you didn't--Did you see me drink from it earlier?
Jake: No.
Amir: I can't stay mad at you. (In a high pitched voice) I can't stay mad at you. You're the one bright spot. In my otherwise dismal life. You're the one bright spot in my otherwise dismal life.
Jake: Just cause you say it in a goofy voice doesn't make it normal.
Amir: I know. You're my reason for reason.
Jake: Oh God.
Amir: The step in my shoe.
Jake: Now you're quoting Rob Thomas. Get over here.
Amir: Rob Thomas featuring Santana.
Jake: I don't want you to say stuff like that to me.
Amir: Sup!
Jake: I don't want you to say stuff like--
(Amir tries to tickle Jake)
Jake: Don't tickle me. DON'T TICKLE ME AMIR! I DON'T WANT YOU TO TICKLE ME AT WORK ANYMORE!
CALDWELL, JAKE! I WANT AMIR TO STOP TICKLING ME AT WORK!
Amir (tries to cut him off): Best friends!
Jake: Okay, so. Don't tickle me, and don't quote Rob Thomas at me--
Amir: Santana
Jake: Or say that I'm the one bright spot in your otherwise dismal life.
Amir: NORMAL life.
Jake: Okay? Cause you're being a FUCKING weirdo.
Amir: I know! I just have to go home now. Because I have a headache. My head and my heart! My head and my heart hurt. So...
Jake: All right, bye. Go.
Caldwell/Jake: Jake. That was really mean! Yeah, he really looked up to you.
Jake: You don't understand. He's already forgotten it even happened.