AMIR: Hey space cadets and girls, it's six thirty in the morning, which means it's time for another episode of-, hold the f-, hold the camera like I said, right? (singing) Ace and Jocelyn, Ace and Jocelyn, from space and Jocelyn, astronaut accountants and they're coming to your face, if you love that shit, say nah nah nah-nah nah nah nah nah-nah, hey! Mom, close the door! Rotate it. Rotate it, right? Anyway, uh, a lot of you guys have been complaining that there's not a lot of super villains in these episodes, which is a great complaint, which is why, today, Ace and I are gonna foil the plot of an evil scientist who's ugly and-
PAT: No, you never said that I was gonna be ugly.
AMIR: What? Argh, what are you...?
AMIR: In this episode, Ace is gonna be confronted by an evil, hideous scientist who can't handle a camera or keep his mouth shut for the life of-
PAT: Alright, I'm leaving.
AMIR: W-w-w-w-wait, c'mon! Hey, Patrick! Patrick! C'mon! I'm gonna edit that part out!
PAT: You said you didn't know how to edit.
AMIR: I'm really sorry. I mean-
PAT: I'm sorry, too. I don't understand why you're-
AMIR: I know. This is... I'm... this is probably so weird for someone like you, who has this, like-
PAT: Someone... what does that even mean?
AMIR: Put on this hat and I swear everything's gonna be alright. Just, put on the hat and-
PAT: Do you have my money?
AMIR: Yes, yes, I really do, I promise. I swear to God I have your money, just, good, excellent, put on the hat and follow me, bitch.
PAT: You're sure he knows we're coming?
AMIR: Yes, or I don't know, just, can you open the door? You know- do you know your line even?
PAT: Of course I know my lines! What are we even doing?
AMIR: Will you get...?
JAKE: Is there somebody there?
AMIR: Shh, just get in there, I'll say the rest.
PAT: Alright.
JAKE: I'm gonna kill you!
AMIR: Oh my-
PAT: Oh my God!
AMIR: Ace.
JAKE: Amir?
AMIR: That was-
PAT: Oh my God!
AMIR: ... so good! Ace, I led him right to you.
JAKE: I'm so sorry.
AMIR: You would have been so proud.
JAKE: Put this on, put this on on your eye.
AMIR: Ace.
PAT: Ah!
JAKE: I'm so sorry.
AMIR: The astronaut accountants strike again!
JAKE: This is... Amir, is this... is this that stupid pilot thing that you're doing?
PAT: Guys-
AMIR: Let me-
PAT: ... I think I'm blind! Guys, I think I'm blind.
AMIR: Justice.
JAKE: Hey, guess what? You're a double agent.
AMIR: What?
PAT: Guys, I think I'm blind.
JAKE: You're a double... you're a double agent, Ace-
AMIR: No way.
JAKE: ... or Jocelyn, or whatever the fuck your name is.
AMIR: I would never-
PAT: Jake, take the cell phone out of my pocket.
AMIR: Ace, get the cell phone out. Don't, yet. This is so messed up, right now.
JAKE: This, this right here, this is a finger-blasting gun and it shoots invisible lasers and I'm gonna shoot you.
PAT: Guys, I think I'm blind.
AMIR: I know WHAT IT IS! JUST RELAX, ACE, PUT IT DOWN!
PAT: I already know the insurance.
JAKE: Get on your knees, right now. Get on your knees.
AMIR: This isn't supposed to happen, not until season two.
JAKE: You have ten seconds to get out of here-
AMIR: Ace.
JAKE: ... crawling on your knees like a dog, before I shoot you in the face-
AMIR: I don't wanna do this... but I've a real knife!
AMIR: Will Ace ever come to his senses? Is Jocelyn really a double agent?
PAT: Please, stop talking.
AMIR: Will the evil, ugly scientist shut up and let me finish? All these answers and one more next week on Ace and Jocelyn, astronaut accountants from outer space.