[Amir and Rosie are sitting at a table, Rosie is eating a salad.]
AMIR: Alright it's been five minutes, c'mon let me just call him ernonono here, you text him and then I'll text him and then we'll figure ou-- you're not- so you're not even a little bit concerned, he went to the bathroom over f--
JAKE: (from off-screen) Hey
AMIR: aahh, hey!
(Jake enters and sits down at the table)
JAKE: Sup.
AMIR: uh.. hahahah, Rosie was telling me a joke about how I can dunk.. it's (silly voice) nuts!
ROSIE: I wasn't
AMIR: (silly voice) It's nutso!
JAKE: Cool. I actually just took one of those shits where you don't have to wipe at all. Really cool.
ROSIE: Hah! (Amir laughs as well) Those are the best! I love those!
JAKE: Yeah, really good.
AMIR: (laughing) I love those sh- I love that shit!
JAKE: You love those?
AMIR: (laughing) hahyeah they're crazy!
JAKE: And after, after that, I pissed blue. Isn't that weird?
AMIR: (still with a large smile) Yeah. It's so.. I've done that. It's like--
JAKE: You've done that?
AMIR: Yeah, you piss and then it's like, what the?!
JAKE: Eheheh It's like whoa!
AMIR: Yeah it's like you're pouring a highlighter marker down the toilet.
JAKE: Exactly. And to-- instead of washing my hands, I just peeled the skin off of my palm (Amir is disgusted), and I just rinsed it out under the faucet, and I slid it back on like a glove.
AMIR: Yep. Like.. you slide it on like a glove, right? I was gonna say that.
JAKE: You did say that, right after I did. Tell me something crazy that happens to you.
AMIR: Uhhhh
JAKE: Talking about me, so
AMIR: Well the.. I think pissing blue counts. For the crazy thing. (clears throat)
JAKE: Something that I haven't mentioned already. Something just.. happened to you.
AMIR: D-- So no-- the glove thing, and the-- one time, I... yeah I don't know. What?
JAKE: Something.. tell me something, about you, that's crazy.
AMIR: Oh. (laughs). One time when I was a kid, I went ca--
[TEXT: Ten minutes Later]
[Jake is near tears, Rosie is huddled up into a ball, rocking back and forth with his eyes closed. Amir has a solemn look on his face.]
JAKE: (crying) Can I see it?
(Amir smacks his lips.)
END.