Jake & Amir | Script Archive

Instant Messages

Episode ID: 117

Air date: 2008-05-27

Video: Link

(Jake walks in and sits at his desk)

Amir: Stupid.

Jake: Oh my God.

Amir: (High pitched voice) Check your IM box!

Jake: Jesus. You know what actually, why I don't I just... I'll play these out loud.

Amir: Noooo... haha, don't.

Jake: Maybe this will teach you a lesson.

Alex (System Voice): Jake. LOL have you ever forgotten to wipe after pooping?

Anyway.

Stupid.

I learned how to French kiss this weekend.

Man.

Ouch.

Jake.

QQ, Do you know how magic works? I think my cousin is a wizard.

Straight up.

Jake.

Jake.

Jake.

Jake.

I'm bored.

Jake.

Jake.

I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 50 Jake.

Dinner tonight?

Oh my god I just found out something crazy, if you want to know what it is call me.

Jake.

Jake.

Oops wrong IM.

I'll pay you twenty dollars to tickle me right now.

Fifty dollars.

A hundred dollars.

Are you getting these messages?

Twenty dollars.

Eight dollars.

Jake.

LOL I lost all of my money betting on last week's episode of Lost.

Jake.

Jake.

How illegal is it to sleep in a public park?

Did you think about that tickle thing?

You know it hurts, shattering your elbow trying to break into a car.

Funny story.

Stop.

Stop this.

This is not happening.

Jesus.

I have to get out of here.

If you need me I'll be in your apartment.

Rosie: He has keys to your apartment?

Jake: Maybe, I honestly don't know.

Alex (System Voice): Also, Jake, before you come back, knock on the door, I may be naked.

Also, P.S. That number I was thinking of was infinity.

Were you close? I bet you were.

P.P.S. P.M.S. L.O.L.