JAKE: (on cell) Hi, mom. Yeah, I'm here now actually. Of course I'm excited, I got the keys this morning. Yeah, it's closer to him but if I let him decide where I'm going to live, he wins. I'm going in, I'll call you back.
AMIR: (sings a tune) Jake, by the way, you know how much I hate exercising but we are running (beat) out of toilet paper. Just looking out for your best interest. (high pitched) Best roommate ever! (slaps Jake)
Any Hootie and the Blowfish, talked to the two dike-o's across the hall, may want to make nice with them, they did not appreciate me calling them lesbos to their face. Also, we are running, not dangerously low, but pretty low on nuugs, so you'll want to get that taken care of too.
What else? Uh, right, mattresses. Cancelled your queenie because it was nay bunkable and that's sort of the deal breaker for me; got us two twinsies instead. What are your thoughts of race-car beds, I hope positive, because (high pitched) I already bought them.
What else? Wi-fi situation: what does that mean? It seems really important and a lot of people are talking about it. We should probably get on that, ASAP.
What else, what else, what else, what else . . . oh! If you're wondering how strong the mirror is in the bathroom: not stronger than my elbow, not strong than my elbow, hoo! (laughs) You don't care.Oh my god, no more of those, let's celebrate. I'm going to get more.(flashes Jake)
JAKE: Ughhhh
AMIR: What else, what else, what else, what else, what else? BRB, and can you clean this for me, it's dirty as shiatsu . . . (high pitched) Thank you!
(Blackout)
AMIR: Jake.
JAKE: Oh, Jesus.
THE END.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RPD30gK3bE