AMIR: Tell me where Ace is, quick - before I destroy you.
JEFF: What is Ace?
AMIR: Oh goddamnit, just fucking sa- just say where Jake is.
JEFF: Jake is in the kitchen.
AMIR: Ooh wow. That wasn't too hard, was it Earth nerd? You're lucky this camera is on, honestly.
Amir knocks off Jeff's headphones. He starts walking to Jake in the kitchen.
AMIR: They say you are what you eat, but in space that... but that... isn't always it... that's... ahh whatever I'm not redoing this.
AMIR: Woah, what's that? Are you sure you should be eating those space doritos?
JAKE: Yeah, they're fine.
AMIR: Ooh I don't know if they are, they might be - poison!
JAKE: What?
AMIR: Trust me Ace, let's go to: the space hospital!
Cut to the bathroom. Jake is throwing up in the toilet.
AMIR: Oh my, what's wrong Ace? Someone poisoned you! We'll find that demon, Ace.
JAKE: What the fuck did you do, man?
AMIR: If it's the last thing I do, I'll find them. I'll find the person that made you sick.
JAKE: I don't believe you... just tell me what you put in my food cos I might need to go to the hospital and get my stomach pumped...
AMIR: There are no hospitals in the future, Ace.
JAKE: Oh my god, this is a fucking nightmare.
AMIR: Or whatever it is we'll find it.
JAKE: I don't want this to be how I die.
Cut to Amir running across a beach, and then a golf course. The Ace and Jocelyn theme tune plays.
Caption: EPISODE FOURamir I fixed this for you just delete this text when you're done -david
Cut to Amir on a street, setting his camera up. A man starts to run away with it.
AMIR: OH MY GOD hey come back here with my -
Amir is holding a camera back in the office and approaching Jake on a beanbag.
AMIR singing: Coming in for a landing.
AMIR: Ace. I think I figured out what the problemo was.
JAKE: What is it?
AMIR: Half a bottle of Visine.
JAKE: Oh my God.
AMIR: Oooh and then another bottle of Visine.
JAKE: Oh man not the Visine.
AMIR: Oh God. Please. But I'm sure whoever did it feels like Shiatzu, so you don't have to make them feel any worse. Whoever it is, I'll find them, that's for sure. We're still best friends right?
As Jake speaks, Amir talks over it in voiceover:
AMIR: ALWAYS.
JAKE: You have to call 911.
AMIR: OK fine, but I must warn you: the space digits now are 916.
JAKE: 911!
AMIR: Fine, chill out you're such a baby.
Onscreen text reads: You still owe me for the last AJ, by the way
AMIR: She's answering. My friend is an astronaut so -
Jake knocks the camera and phone out of Amir's hands.
JAKE: SHUT UP!
AMIR: Oh my... what the fuck is your problem? What did I do to deserve tha-