(Amir returns to desk in penguin costume...quacking)
AMIR: Where is she? (nervous chuckle)
JAKE: Amir...
AMIR: What happened?
JAKE: I need to talk to you.
AMIR: (puts on penguin hood) What about?
JAKE: Diana told me something.
AMIR: If this is about me, wearing your high school retainer, I did it as a joke...wow! You don't even wear it anymore!
JAKE: She wants to break up with you.
AMIR: (chuckles)
JAKE: Umm...
AMIR: Why wouldn't she do it herself?
JAKE: Sh-She probably likes you too much.
AMIR: I can't believe this. I mean, you read plays, you see commercials, you never think it's going to happen to you.
JAKE: It happens to everybody.
AMIR: Nobody should ever outlive a relationship with somebody else, especially her.
JAKE: I'm trying really hard to--
AMIR: Can I be serious with you for a second?
JAKE: (sighs) Probably not.
AMIR: I thought she was the one.
JAKE: OK, I was right.
AMIR: I'm sure she was.
JAKE: All right, what do you mean by 'the one'?
AMIR: What do you mean?
JAKE: What is 'the one'?
AMIR: The one, whatever. The one...well I don't know, you just say it. You just say it and the girl smiles and kisses you on the cheek...(whines) OH GOD THIS SUCKS!
JAKE: All right, come on, uh, dinner tonight.
AMIR: No.
JAKE: McDonalds, let's go, right now!
AMIR: I don't feel like it.
JAKE: (sighs) OK, well, whatever you--
AMIR: Well which McDonalds?
(cuts to them at McDonalds)
(Jake feeds Amir a nugget)
AMIR: Ugh, god, a dry McNugget, huh?! A dry McNugget! As if my day wasn't going bad!
JAKE: I'm sorry!
AMIR: It's fine. Ugh! Sweet and sour first! Sweet and sour first!
JAKE: I'm sorry.
AMIR: There's a difference.
(Blackout)
AMIR: Thank you for doing this today, and every day for the rest of the year, as you promised!
JAKE: I didn't say that.
THE END.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4BoH3j6qFc