(Jake is in a stall using the bathroom, Amir is in the next stall)
Amir: Jake!
Jake: Oh my god. Two questions: why and how?
Amir: Two answers: red and twelve.
Jake: Ok, those are two answers, just not to those questions.
Amir: I mean, what do you mean how?
Jake: How did you know it was me? I took off my shoes so you wouldn't see.
Amir: That's stupid, like I don't know your socks.
Jake: (sighs) Then I guess why.
Amir: I thought you said 'meet me in the bathroom.'
Jake: No, I told Pat that I was going to the bathroom, and I asked him to tell you not to come.
(Pat enters bathroom, rubbing his arm)
Pat: Sorry, Jake. You were right. He's a lot stronger than he looks. Wait, he's not in here, is he? (leaves)
Amir: Anywho, what's taking so long?
Jake: (grunts) Do I have to answer that?
Amir: All I'm saying is when I do it, it comes out like a rocket. One and done. Three wipes, eh eh eh, no matter what.
Jake: God, that's disgusting.
Amir: Still smells like roses in here. Is that you?
Jake: Shut up.
(Amir rolls toilet paper to Jake's stall with 'Jake' written on it)
Amir (pops out underneath Jake's stall) Jake!
Jake: Ah!